Its freezing out

So my grandma has cancer. Shes had it for a while; long enough that I had begun to get used to it. But this isn't her kind of cancer. She just sits in bed and ask for things. She asks for things. I have not once ever seen her allow me make her lunch but today she was shaking so bad I practically had to feed it to her.

I find myself wishing she died when she was healthy. I don't want we to go out like this. I want her to complain like she used to.


I know it's not going to happen.

Its cold we're I live and I went to the beach to try and figure out what ive been feeling lately. It just makes me feel somewhat empty. No one is caring for it. And their not going to until its swimsuit season.

You can't just forget about a place until you need it again... Can you?